A smooth journey? Are you kidding … ??
This journey of discovery … of discovering the real “me” hidden behind the scripts, stamps, stories acquired along my walk through life … is a lumpy, bumpy road. Though I’ve been at this for some time (almost a decade or more) it has only been in the last couple of years, especially within the last year, that giant gains and changes occurred. Up to then, my journey made small gains … open doors just a crack, exposed enough to entice but not allow entry. I also encountered stop signs and rest stops along the way where I thought I had reached greater understanding and felt maybe I had arrived at my expected destination. But wow, was I wrong!
First, what I thought was understanding was only the beginning of sensing from new perspectives. Next, I discovered that having expectations was limiting myself … missing some of the truly great adventure about to unfold. Next, I discovered that there is no end … but instead a lifelong walk that begins to change you more and more right before your eyes and in such wonderful ways. And the excitement and joy from these changes is incredible … and fills me with joy and feelings never felt so deeply before in my years. And it creates enthusiasm and excitement for even more change because what unfolds is filled with such rich surprises and feelings.
Finally (but more exists), the trip is far from completed because there are so many burdens from the past that only time, work, and increasing awareness can reveal … it appears to be the only way to expose them in order to explore them, understand their real truth, and place them aside so that they no longer add weight upon my back. So many old burdens created from living the old way for so many years … all deeply engrained and carved into me … creating the need to do the work to move through and past them, remove them from blocking “me”. The work required is great … but the resulting freedom, joy, and feelings are worth every moment of effort. For me … the result becomes greater and richer and more full each time I discover an artifact from my past and place it alongside the road and feel the change it brings … and it has created a time in my life like no other … a time so GOOD, RICH, and filled with JOYFUL FEELINGS … a time I have never lived before but am so very, very glad to be living now. It is well worth the price of admission, the sweat of the effort, and the discomfort from revisiting old stuff because what it results in is truly a life worth living … a life never dreamt of but now felt each and every day. Yes … lumpy and bumpy, but worth every step I take.