“Abundance is a process of letting go; that which is empty can receive.” – Bryant H. McGill

Learning To Be With Myself without Expectations

Yesterday was my first, full day of this experience called “retreat”. I saw I am in transition … moving from a place where plans and tasks are defined in order to accomplish. It is the luggage I carry from living a life day-to-day without stepping back and creating space … space between what I do and who I am.

As my new day unfolded I saw much. I saw that even though I say I have no expectations, I indeed have many. I “feel” myself looking … searching … rather than “being”. I “feel” my inner energy wanting to follow a planned routine to ”reveal” instead of simply allowing spontaneous events to naturally unfold and reveal themselves. Lessons … lessons I am learning as each moment unfolds and I transition to the next moment while reflecting and remaining aware. Such valuable lessons …

As I engaged in my passion for hiking and being in nature, I practiced awareness along with leaving expectations and plans at the home from which I began my wonderings. Silence … calm … simplicity … sharp, crisp wind off the ocean … intense sunshine … long miles … hot tub upon returning … glass of wine while sitting and looking out across the river at the hamlet of Jenner … I truly felt that life in that moment … in all the moments spent that day, where truly good, rich, and nurturing.

And as I reflected and “felt”, I also gave thanks … expressed gratitude that these moments were given me and that I had taken small yet meaningful steps to create this opportunity to experience them. I gave thanks for having so much compared to many I’ve recently met that have so little.

Experiencing the moments … being in the moment … opening my heart and mind to what may or may not be revealed … not carrying expectations … all lessons learned as I ventured into this new territory called “retreat”. And I am thankful …

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