Searching for the spiritual self …

“The essential lesson I’ve learned in life is to just be yourself. Treasure the magnificent being that you are and recognize first and foremost you’re not here as a human being only. You’re a spiritual being having a human experience.” – Wayne Dyer

 

At times I feel like such an odd creature … a man forever changing and forever sensing new aspects of his day-to-day relationship with his world.  And with each new discovery, my life improves.  Joy flows more freely now than ever before.  Listening to myself … my feelings … and charting their spoken course is now my tool for daily guidance.  And though I embrace such change, and even enthusiastically welcome it, I feel adrift at times … without roots … without ground beneath my feet and lacking a spiritual center or core.

As I continue my journey of maturing and purposeful aging, I sense that my transition becomes more and more a movement towards the spiritual and away from the earthly.  Each step taken seems to create an increasing sense of “shedding” … shedding that which is material and taking on that which is ethereal.  And now I find myself in that dreaded “gray zone” where one more step forward detaches me from the earth beneath my feet while I’ve not yet discovered the new ground upon which to land.

More frequently now … daily or more … I yearn for that spiritual landing place … that place comprising my spiritual home.  That place where attachments disappear, clinging is released, and I simply relish in the moment, totally at peace with accepting what “is” … leaving resistance checked at the door.  The search for joyful feelings found by living in the moment continues and is becoming more intense.  Many routes are being explored, yet the home meant for me remains elusive, so the sense of drift lives on within me.  It churns me … it causes me to feel incomplete … it brings a sense of emptiness. Yet I remain faithful to the belief that my answer still lies ahead and that my feelings will illuminate the way.

So now, in this moment, I continue my quest.  Will I give up … will I give in … will I abandoned my quest because at times the search seems endless?  The answer is No.  The journey itself is rich, plus the potential prize at its terminus offers the possibility of enormously wonderful feelings of completeness and peace.  I will continue my walk … I will be friends with the transitional darkness … I will continue to travel and listen … I will continue to experience and assess … I will remain an explorer and hold myself open to the Universe so that when the winds of discovery finally blow upon me, I will be ready to receive, embrace, and richly feel it.  Like Don Quixote de La Mancha, onward I go …

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One thought on “Searching for the spiritual self …

  1. Beautiful heart-felt writing. Must admit to being confused by the walk-in tub ad. ? Is that where you do your best writing?

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