Emotions Churn This Morning …
I arise deeply submerged in emotion. It’s heavy, thick, but tempered with tenderness. I arose, returned to bed, and then arose again three times before finally achieving my goal of walking out and beginning my morning rituals.
Music plays and each note within it sounds as if it comes from a deep cave, a cave resting far within my heart. I feel like I’m hearing sounds missed before … notes noticed because earlier visits were at the surface skimming past too fast to reach in and touch the depths within me. It feels like my time has slowed, stopped enough to allow this new kind of visit to be explored and flavored.
Each day now is touching me differently. While within change I approach an even greater change. Yesterday offered many touch points sparking feelings about my new life ahead. All seemed to open various doors to deeper feelings now beginning to churn as I ready myself to step into something truly big … cast in symbolism … representative of so much of my past paradigm, scripting, and programming. I’m not sure I’ve clearly seen its significance until now. I’m not sure I’ve notice how much is hung onto this approaching set of moments. I’m beginning to sense that these simple acts … steps I begin taking soon towards a transition … are huge and have roots extending deep within me, far deeper than I’ve realized because they are carrying away the last remaining debris from what once was me but is no longer. At least that is how it “feels” this morning.
And I look out across my room … the landscape before me as I compose tucked up in my nest … and I again see the complexity hiding the simple life I desire. “Things” and “stuff” … all collected while dancing to older life music. It reveals to me that this morning’s theme is “moving away from the old” … and I feel it more than see it on this Thursday morning. It is strong … powerful … and speaking with a loud voice within me. An interesting, growing sense as I move each finger and use its dance to help uncover what I’m feeling inside. Writing … such a useful, powerful, and sensitive tool for me. How different than what I ever imagined while living as the earlier “me” before the new “Me” was discovered.
So I will enter this day filled with user gatherings, team meetings, lunch with a close friend, talk of backpacking, and dance this evening. I enter this day changing … morphing … shifting now in ever increasing ways as a transitional set of events moves me in significant ways. My life is such a delightfully elegant dance … filled with such soothing music … allowing me these precious moments to see what beauty my life can create … allowing me moments to experience feelings that fill my heart to overflowing.
I walk … I journey … I listen to my inner music and follow my inner compass … and in return I am granted the gift of witnessing my evolution into a new Me. It is a wonderful birth … a “becoming” … and I am the seed now sending fresh roots out to draw new nourishment from a new world seen in new ways.
It is a fine morning indeed.