“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” – Albert Einstein
It’s been some days since writing … leaving my thoughts here in my blog. Such gaps arise from me allowing life to sweep me up … and me not choosing a path through such days that permits time to process and record. A choice … one that keeps me away from something that touches me in special nurturing ways while strangely allowing inner forces to build until they remind me of the pleasure I derive from processing, recording, and sharing the feelings and thoughts I encounter as I walk my daily journey. Those forces have once again returned … as has my need to express.
Today I take yet another step towards transition, formally beginning the process of retirement. Retirement … this transitional point in my life where one door will close so that another may open … open to new chapters adding richness and meaning to my life. Yes … not an ending but a new beginning for me … a man still fully engaged in the discovery of life and himself.
I sit here and “feel” … feel myself moving through this turbulent time in my life … time of change and excitement … time on unknowing … time of faith in following a course led by intentions, love, and letting go to the universe. I often return to the vision of my retreat during these days now. This vision offers me peace from deep within. Those days spend in retreat were so powerfully cleansing and allowed me to “feel” more centered than I can ever recall. The sense of peace is overwhelming and I use those feelings as a marker … a road sign … a compass to guide the many decisions churning within me now.
At times I want to simply stop … halt for some moments and purge all that is within me … all the feelings and experiences collected over so many years … “shake my emotional blanket” … purge, reorder, select the richest, then take back in that which allows me the most good feelings. Purging in a way that reveals and retains only the best, leaving a greater sense of simplicity in this life I now lead. Simplifying myself to a place offering more of my essence … a purer collection of that which feeds and nourishes me the most. There is a message emerging … not yet clear but surfacing and creating feelings … something being released as a result of this life change about to swell over me. More work … emerging work … meaning and understanding … intentions at least for now. But there is this growing sense of an emerging message.
I ramble because I’m feeling … feelings without clear focus this morning. Stepping into the dark, somewhat confusing realm of tomorrow while beginning to sense a calling to purge, renew, and walk more lightly as I go forward. Newly seen pieces in the jigsaw puzzle of my life.