“Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.” – Omar Khayyam
Transitions and Letting Go …
Lives travel through transitions. My brother is in transition as he hangs on to life waiting for a replacement liver. My life was in the final phases of transition as I prepare to leave work life and move into retirement. And even though my planning arranged my new, approaching life nicely, allowing me to feel “in control” of the many things needing to come together as I moved from one life phase to the next, it was all an illusion. Circumstances changed it all overnight as I traveled to help my brother.
So I learn new lessons in letting go. Letting go in order to seek peace and navigate through the feelings of being overwhelmed … sincere, inner, genuine peace with detachment from ANY expectations. I seek renewal of my belief that life must be lived in this very moment, and settling into this moment and no longer than this moment with no yesterday and never a tomorrow. It seems one way for me to deal with the inner turbulence and discord felt these past 3 weeks.
And as my heart yearns for simplicity, so much remains unclear as to the causes of internal discomfort felt during this time. Though small moments of understanding occurred, much still “feels” unknown. My life seems at a turning point. Some moment in my life story where fears converge with joy, and the sense of adventure creates an inner excitement towards what may be revealed. But there is more … an overlay of confusion meant to force me into yet even more clarity. This journey I still process.
As I sit here, reflect, and listen to calming music I allow myself to drift and flow into deeper sensations and inner quiet. And as I reflect, I continue to seek guidance and signs giving me deeper understanding of myself. I seek the ability to see the turbulence as a gift … and see these simple, small current moments as gifts … these current moments now giving me inner peace and calm … these current moments bringing me momentary joy through “feelings” of balance.
Life seems comprised of transitions. Transitions offer opportunities to experience, feel, and learn. And opportunities are gifts offered by some greater force for the purpose of helping me better understand “me”. It all “feels” like a very hard school with sometimes very difficult homework. But this school of life is what I have been given so I will let go of expectations and accept it … being in the moment … this moment of my life.