“Every moment and every event of every man’s life on earth plants something in his soul.” – Thomas Merton
Lessons Learned …
As I continue my transition to my new life, separating from what was to what may be, exploring new freedoms, changing my living environment to match my new beginnings, and moving toward new adventures, I am filled with love even though I also carry sadness for the afflictions faced by my brother. His journey with liver failure and failing body continues … and each day’s decision to continue the fight are his decisions … made with reason and bravery … and the combination of all is what some say his soul needs to grow and achieve its desired end … but to watch him suffer and endure is difficult. There are so many lessons swirling from this single story, but for me, a spectator in the seats, I feel “letting go” and “living in the moment” are the two most vividly standing out.
I see this morning that his journey is partly my journey … offering me and all touching him opportunities to reflect on our personal sense of our own human experience. Through his suffering … through his chosen path and its experiences … we (I) am offered chances to consider how being human feels … how I would desire my experience to manifest itself should similar circumstances demand it. As ongoing updates of his failing condition arrive, I reflect and find something unique is evolving. It is fascinating how I now view my brother more as a spiritual teacher than a human suffering the hardships placed upon him by his diminishing health. It is offering me a different paradigm from which to move, and knowing that my brother’s path is still unfolding my lessons will continue to reveal themselves. Lessons in life … lessons in letting go … lessons in living each moment in the moment … and many more.
This journey labeled life … mine or anyone’s journey … can be colored in shades of grey or written in vivid colors. In each moment we choose which palette to use. There are no bad choices … only choices. Each choice simply defines a moment … one that consumes itself like a flickering flame and is replaced by the next. Each moment, a brilliant flash … replaced immediately by the next … and it too consumed and replaced … with no future defined other than one’s personal willingness to remain walking into an unknown future. This is the message being felt by me this morning … this mature man in transformation.
And the feelings swelling within me this day … this day made of moments … of flames feeding flames … are unusually strong this daybreak. Does it reflect greater awareness? Does it reflect the manifestation of my own experience? No … it simply “is what’s felt” within me. And it moves me in a direction … showing me where to place my foot for the next step. It is my journey … reflecting lessons learned and feelings felt … moment-by-moment … with each step I take.