I’ve been away …

“To be more childlike, you don’t have to give up being an adult. The fully integrated person is capable of being both an adult and a child simultaneously. Recapture the childlike feelings of wide-eyed excitement, spontaneous appreciation, cutting loose, and being full of awe and wonder at this magnificent universe.” – Wayne Dyer

I have been away … away seeking clarity and a means to once again discover my deeper, inner rhythm.  My journey caused me to set aside my writing, though the assembling of thoughts and feelings through words never ended in my head.   Space was simply needed … space to allow time for the flames of motivation to rekindle and reignite my inner passion to share words, thoughts, and most importantly feelings.  And I needed time to adjust to and seek out what new pattern defines “me” and my rhythm.

As I walked my journey, many pieces were picked up along the way.  Some bright and shiny.  Some darker and grey.  One piece spoke of life unfolding as movement through contrast.  When standing, listening, and living in the moment, these contrasts surface even stronger, speak louder, and show themselves in more dramatic ways.

Because of these sharper contrasts, it no more feels like “emerging” into a new self. Rather, it feels more like a constant morphing into an ever-different self … one marked by constant change guided by intentions.  Small increments, detectable yet not enormous, seem to now be the stepping stones I’m presented on the path I walk.  It’s an interesting shift, and needs further sensing and assessment.  And though these increments might be small, they are powerful … strong indicators that a need remains for exploration, movement and possible change within me to release my inner song.

How can I be so fortunate to have arrived at this moment after traveling such a far distance?  How can it be so powerful?  How can it create such wondrous, childlike feelings that cause me to play with such renewed intensity and sense of exploration?  Even though I’m a man with years beneath his feet, I “feel” like a child just beginning to discover a life’s path being laid out before him.  A path that increasingly harmonizes with all within himself while igniting and exciting his desire to explore and experience more.  A child wanting to go out and play with his friends … play with the world … experience new and exciting adventures … and discover himself.  At times, it all seems beyond words … 😊 Yes … I am a very lucky man … a man seeing that his remaining choices drive his ability to sustain this wonderful dance.

Oh yes, I am enjoying each step of my emerging dance.  Tears form in my eyes when I stand still, go inside, and think how each moment of my new days touch my soul.  And the emotions … some deep, some suppressed for a lifetime … are being released.  I can feel it … like cutting an infected wound and allow the infection to drain away, leaving space and healthy tissue to again breath and begin growing.  This sense of release … releasing something long held down … releasing something truly wanted but never allowed … releasing some part of a life such that it now can be lived and experienced.

There is so much swirling within me … and the more I think of it the more it swirls!  It’s like starting a fire then feeding it more and more wood so that the flames reach high into the sky.  It all is magical!!!  It all is so incredible!!  It is my journey …

2 thoughts on “I’ve been away …

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