Filling spaces …

“There will come a time when you believe everything is finished; that will be the beginning.” – Louis L’Amour

Yes … I cautiously emerge from a long period of silence.  A period where reflections continued, but my voice making them known felt weak and unresponsive.  Over time, this pattern became entrenched.  I gave up what I now see was a critical tool, my tool, for balance, self-understanding, and reflection … my writing.

So now I take a small step, venturing out once again into the realm of captured phrases and words.  My topic?  It is a simple one … one that more and more frequently surfaces as I travel ever deeper into my maturity.  Final transition.

I love hiking.  For me, it is a metaphor for life.  It offers precious physical and spiritual respite where personal facades drop and I am able to peer into my deeper self.  Such caverns are places needing visiting, especially for me.  Places I need to go when trying to understand my place in this Universe.  Places I need to go to find and hold on to the loving peace within me.  Places offering me a sense of balance in an unstable world.

Recently, my wonderings came across a moment where my spiritual eyesight suddenly sharpened and cleared.  It was during a treasured retreat, encountered while looking out from a deck surrounded by trees and framing a glorious view onto the surrounding nature I was about to walk within. 

As I stood in this place of peace and nature, I felt my inner being pushing away the facades to reveal understanding.  I realized an answer was being offered, one giving me both greater understanding and peace.  Added clarity to my understanding of my final transition.  Simply stated …  I will become the energy filling the spaces.

The concept universal energy has been shared with me before.  But now it is the “right time” not only to hear but feel and integrate it with my inner spiritual self and feelings.  And the setting … the context provided by the sacred space of my retreat enriches understanding.  As I was looking out from the deck, I could see the branches of close evergreens wave and dance in the strong winds.  And I could also see the spaces.  Places among the substance where emptiness resides and flourishes.  And I realized that it will be my energy at my final transition that will fill these gaps and help complete the cosmic picture always present around us.

Embracing my new understanding freed me.  I settled into the “now” for a moment and more clearly recognized the “path of living” I now can focus upon knowing what transition awaits me.  The path … “Living each day fully while unburdening myself from the mistakes of the past, or the fears of an unknown future.  Live free to experience … fill my life with experiences … live free of unnecessary limitations so that the full measure of my life may felt and embraced.”  For me, this is the human experience needed to play out as I approach my transition.

And I clearly see the song I will sing at transition.  My part in the Universe’s opera.  Among the trees dancing before me I see space.  I see that all is energy in some state of existence.  And I sense my pending role being one of transitioning from my current physical existence to one of energy … energy that will fill the spaces I see among the branches.  Pure energy partnered with all existing energy, filling the void among the physical elements making up the whole that is existence in this Universe.

My burden is now lighter.  I sense less fear knowing my intended journey.  The idea of partnering with all energy, suddenly joining that which exists in all places, creates a peaceful presence within me.  Connection among ALL things at a single moment … Sensations not limited by humanly senses but integrated with new, expansive, and breath-taking means to experience.  To feel everything everywhere in the same moment, and not filter it through some physical receptor but to simply “be it”.  Could it get any better?  I think not.  And to know it awaits me brings deep, rich peace to each breath and step of this and all remaining days as I live following my path to transition.

The destination is known while the route is not.  It represents life as we humans experience it.  It represents the “where” of our future as we realize the wealth drawn from our being in the now.  But the idea … the concept … my filling the spaces … brings peace, a sense of understanding, and a sense of enthusiasm for continuing the living of life fully, unburdened by fears or self-created and self-imposed limitations and boundaries.

Ahh … the branches dance with such grace.  Yes, I too will someday move as gracefully while experiencing all the Universe offers in a single moment.  And how it will feel is unknown because instead of “feeling it”, I will simply “be it”.

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