A Moving Forward While Returning …

It felt good this week to post a blog.  I had gone an entire month without doing so.  To once again feel yearnings to express myself and my feelings moved me in peaceful ways … helped move me to a fresh place to stand.  I sense I’ve been churning and blocked from writing … and now I am moving into calmer yet more emotionally sensitive waters, able to reflect and more intensely feel once again.  The door is once again opening and that feels good.

I’ve learned to rely upon my feelings as my compass, but at times my inner compass spins.  Even so, eventually it synchronizes and points strongly towards my true north which gives me confidence that I’m once again on my road.  These moments of “spinning” then aligning remind me day-by-day of my inner complexity … complexity comprised of pieces still seemingly missing from my life puzzle … complexity influenced by themes felt from old chapters in the many life novels within me.  Chapters speaking of holes in my fabric and times of past joy.  It all influences how I react to events occurring as I walk my daily journey and at times pushes me off my road and onto the shoulder.  Yet somehow some greater force provides me clues that enable me to endure the roughness until I finally steer back on course, leaving me with the sense that some greater influence seems to want me to continue.  And gratefully, it also wishes to remain my friend and teacher for the evidence is very strong that I have so very much to learn and discover about myself.  In the chaos of confusion I’ve always sensed assistance … help and protection for me as I struggle to find light along my path once again.  It all makes me reflect … and feel … and consider … and keep taking steps.

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