1 man's Journey

“Take a leap of faith and begin this wondrous new year by believing. Believe in yourself. And believe that there is a loving Source – a Sower of Dreams – just waiting to be asked to help you make your dreams come true.” – Sarah Ban Breathnach

Another morning, another year …

I awake on the cusp of a new year. A moment artificially defined yet carrying significant symbolism. A moment offering the opportunity to assess, reframe, and move forward with new energy and intentions. It is the way I awoke and likely reflects colors and images freshly painted within me as I moved through these holidays, experienced nature, and stood in the presence of those in pain and without homes. It all touched me … altered me … created inner turbulence and triggered feelings.

And as this new year approaches, the sense of entering yet some new period of change increases. More and more I sense my personal canvas clearing, poised and ready to accept fresh images and expressions. And looking in the moment I see the treasures surrounding me for I live in a warm, dry home. I have food and clothing. I have friends that love and support me. I work in joy and among others committed to collaboration and teamwork. I hike and feel the intense passions of my deep connection with nature. It all flows within me, exists in the moment, and causes me to feel the joy of being alive. Yet with all that … with all the “life’s wealth” in my possession … strong as the man inside me is … at times the feelings for an emotional blanket of comfort and love overtakes me like a quickly rising tide.

I ponder … ponder as to the cause. What part is played by old scripts reflecting unfilled holes in the road traveled as my life? What part is played by something that is truly “me” and reflects my core? This dialog flows back and forth and has yet to be resolved or clarified. I’ve asked some greater force for help … for signs or clues that might lead me to understanding and clarity … and now I must move forward while letting go of the “knowing” in order find peace and co-existence with these feelings and the confusion they carry.

So I awake … I awake in gratitude … I awake pondering … I awake “feeling” the effects of days and events that have touched sensors deep within me and my soul. And I awake feeling the excitement and optimism that comes from standing on the cusp of a new adventure … a new adventure of discovery. It is the way some mornings begin … acceptance challenges inquisitiveness … emotion rises above all else … the heart sings a song of yearning for understanding … and a breath is taken as one more step is made on my journey. At times I seem to be so complex. I seek simplicity yet complexity surrounds me. It is what is … what is me … what I feel this final day of 2015. Happy New Year …