“No future time is better than now to let down your guard and love.” – David Deida

Opening … opening … and the love pours in.  More to follow ….

“The ultimate collaboration is with yourself.” – A trusted amigo

“You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself.” – Alan Alda

Life … choices … intuition and feelings … and all that comes with them. At times it seems so confusing and overwhelming, while at times it is amazingly simple and clear. The voices from the past compete with my inner voice and discourage taking risks and seeking possibilities … but I hear them, frame them, examine them, and move past those creating barriers knowing that life is to explore and discover what it my truth. Explore without expectations. Explore while letting go. Explore with loving intentions. Explore to see if new and meaningful doors open or if the path is not me. To live is to willingly step into the wilderness of my intuition, let go, and open myself to what is revealed. It is what enables me to travel my journey.

“Unity is strength… when there is teamwork and collaboration, wonderful things can be achieved.” – Mattie Stepanek

Another uniquely sweet day … and an incredibly magical team …

More magic today … magic to add on top of yesterday’s sense of richness and depth. More magic today and the rich, deep feelings that come with it. My tribe … my team … such great and impressive people.

We successfully launched new sites this week, and my tribe feels very good about the success and effort. I can see it … I can “feel” it … it shows in everyone … the pride of having done your best and seeing results for your effort. But in this tribe I see much more. I see the bond within the tribe among the tribe … I see the continued respect and the caring each has for the other … I see the rhythm they build to work as a whole while each bringing their own strengths. It is magical to see and be part of what’s unfolding day-by-day and revealed through this week’s opportunity.

Work remains but there were very good feelings expressed about how the entire team is working more and more as “one” … anticipating needs, stepping forward to do what’s needed, collaborating, and supporting each other. There is a deep, rich bond here that I have not experienced before in my years of working. For me … it’s a wonderfully rich set of feelings … I am truly blessed with this tribe … this team … and it is a gift to watch them grow and mature and succeed as a group. And it is a gift to be able to walk along side of them as they create their magic

Life is well worth living today … in such magical moments … being part of such a magical tribe and team.

Sensing …

I move in reflective, almost spiritual space this morning … feeling as though I stand deep within me. There is no sense of greater clarity, only a sense of being poised to receive it. A desire for connection and understanding strongly rises to the surface … and reflecting on both creates feelings. Desires for deep and meaningful experiences also rise and add to this interesting mix of sensations and feelings as this day unfolds.

Though there is meaning within each day I live, there is a strong sense today that a richer alignment awaits … an alignment that will fire my feelings and excite these sensations more than what my life is currently offering. This morning I “feel” ready to move forward … now the question is “when will the universe create the opportunities to provide doorways into my desired future?”  I will do my part with intentions, and being poised to listen and hear the signals. But the rest I await, and the feelings are strong today … different … and it “feels” like it is time for growth … it “feels” like it is time for touching new and desired pieces in my personal puzzle … it is all an interesting and peaceful inner experience.

“Intimacy is not a happy medium. It is a way of being in which the tension between distance and closeness is dissolved and a new horizon appears. Intimacy is beyond fear.” – Henri Nouwen

Connection and Hugs …

I am ending today uncomfortable in my feelings.  Though the weekend was restful and at times nurturing, I feel alone this evening … disconnected from personal love.  Though not “sad” the feeling is noticed and felt and seems more simply a feeling of something missing … something wanted but unattained.

A hug … I am reminded of a “hug” … and the feelings I get when a loving hug is shared.  A hug would feel ever so nice tonight.  Yes … a hug … and what it brings … that sense of sincere, deep, loving connection.  Yes, just a hug would feel ever so good tonight.  The sense of security … the physical sense of being loved … the touch, smell and sense of closeness … it all would nurture, heal and strengthen.  It just would feel good … feel ever so good, and my inner voice says this body and spirit of mine wants such connection.

Though some say that we, ourselves, are enough and in the end we need no others in order to live a full life, I am beginning to see this as a compromise.  I believe that the uniqueness of the human experience is to possess the capacity to share intimate connection at a deep, almost spiritual level … connection formed and nurtured through love … connection that is love.  We all can stand alone, and live a full life, but to be joined in a deep, love based collaboration surrounded by deep, penetrating, almost spiritual connection with another offers a truly unique human experience … and opens doors to moments that change the heart and soul forever.

My life is so rich … but this evening there is a sense of something missing … this inner feeling of incompleteness though I know I am complete.  But I sense there is more … more possible … and I want to discover and experience it.  I am now a deeply feeling and answer seeking man … a man growing and discovering himself … a man that deeply desires to give love, take love, and be love.  I feel so deeply … so very deeply … and these feelings move me to discover what comes from a deep loving connection … one meant to be felt and grow into an even deeper, intimate connection.

What is happening for and with me is just my life … the life meant to be … the life being built by the universe on my behalf.  Seeking such connection is only one path among many in my complex journey … a journey unfolding in a more self-aware spiritual realm while trying to exist in the world of 5 sensory humans, monthly bills, and practicality.  Each day I take yet another step … then another … then another … and on, and on, and on.  I walk into the unknown … but do so with the desire to discover and feel.  I do so with this desire for intimate connection.  It is my journey of many roads … a journey which requires patience and letting go … a journey which requires having trust that in the end, what is meant to be will be.

“Treasure your relationships, not your possessions.” – Anthony D’Angelo

Uniqueness of my changing relationships …

As I grow, gain self-awareness, discover my power, and more, my relationships seem to change around me.  The variety and quality of each connection is growing in richness and depth.  The feelings in the moment when that connection is made, talk is shared, and feelings are generated is so joyful because it feels so much deeper than before.  Deep feelings is what I seek these days … I want it because it helps make me feel alive and human.

Each interaction varies along a spectrum of connection and love … and I must admit that some hold a deeper place in my heart than others while all are loved and their friendship cherished.  This deeper love is at times intense yet hidden due to circumstance … simply held within me and kept back so that confusion or awkwardness is averted.  But it is there, and the desire to express those deeper feelings within me is strong at times.  However, the choice in the moment seems best to keep such feelings inside me … at least for now … until the universe nudges me in a different direction.

And if I revealed the list of those holding this deeper place it might surprise, for it is based on feelings rather than expectations or tradition or scripts or customs.  But my feelings are my compass, so I turn to them with trust knowing that they will show me the truth … and tell me those in my world that penetrate my heart deeply … like a spear with a sharp tip … only that the cuts give pleasurable feelings and add to my being “human” and joyful.

Love … a term that can be so powerful and cover such a broad spectrum of meaning.  Love that evolves each day to adapt to an ever changing landscape of my relationships.  Love that offers new definitions that make casual friendships deeper, and deeper relationships richer and more joyful.  Love that touches my heart to an extraordinary depth and brings me feelings of joy and richness.

I hope that all I touch feel the kindness I try to project … that it is totally sincere and reflects who I want to be in my remaining days on this globe … that they all know that they are seen as equal beings … fellow perfectly imperfect human beings … feel it through their day and evening … sense it around them … and turn to it in time of need or joy.  It exists … it is real.

“When we contemplate the whole globe as one great dewdrop, striped and dotted with continents and islands, flying through space with other stars all singing and shining together as one, the whole universe appears as an infinite storm of beauty.”–  John Muir

Reflections on another morning ….

Another morning, another day, another chance to grow and change.  Change … it all seems about change created by moments that move us … move us down some path unknown.  As this movement occurs, messages arise.  If we are fortunate we hear them.  If we are more fortunate we take them in and decode them against our feelings.  And if the universe truly smiles upon us, we take the results and act … bringing us back to the movement that takes us step-by-step to a place called our destiny. It is all a magical though natural process, one that can help each of us to live a life worth living and reach our greatest potential.

And yes, this model becomes even more complex when blended with intentions, living from love, and many other factors scattered about the table of life by the wise ones.  We each get a chance to sweep up the table and pour such items into our “self”.  The resulting unique combination is what creates our individuality … our unique iteration of our personality.  It is what makes us “us” … creates the “me” that stands on the planet for a short window of geologic time.

It is this “me” that embraces the changes and moves down this unknown path to his destiny.  It is the journey … one man’s journey in this iteration of life and living.  Each day different.  Each day challenging in its own way.  Each day a surprise … surprises from events that trigger changes, feelings and movement.  It is all the cycle … all the cycle of the journey.

“Do anything, but let it produce joy.” – Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

Don’t lose sight of just “being” …

Yes … these days I spend a great deal of time examining my life and the feelings I gather from it, and asking questions aimed at understanding my deeper self.  “Self-awareness” has become integrated into my day-to-day life, and the resulting changes have been significant.

Though it seems worthy to work so hard to improve and grow … something needing deep commitment … I am realizing that I must also allow time to just “be” … be who I am in this moment and smell the sweet fragrance in the wind … feel the freshness of the breeze … feel the rhythm of the earth beneath my feet.  I see that I must “be” at times, and be focused on growth at times too … and it takes my conscious attention and intention to ensure that I maintain a balance between both in life because it is very easy to slip to far to one side and see everything as analysis rather than simply living life.