Life’s Tide …

In recent times, my heart overflows with good feelings. My life offers deep, meaningful connections with those from work and in my personal space, and the constant pace of changes in my life seem to be morphing me and moving me to somewhere I’m both meant to stand and offers inner harmony.

But even within such positive experiences filling my days I am reminded today … reminded that life is not only the harmony and good feelings but encounters with discontinuity and discord. Yes, the end result within us we control. Retaining our personal power to frame and define how we take in events in our life is always available but the conditions or stimuli are still what they are, moments of turbulence and contrast resulting from sadness, pain, and sometimes violence.

Today is my day for reminders. From the beginning of today the energy around me has felt “edgy” and even while involved in the joy of helping others, reminders came pouring in. Escalating conflict evolving rapidly into violence rose from what’s usually a peaceful setting. The intensity was brief yet impacting. Overwhelmed by those events I sought time to process away from the turbulence yet was once again presented reminders … reminders of a different sort more directly connected with those in my present or past family spheres. More reminders … more challenges to take in, process, frame in love, and move through me while accepting and seeking opportunities to support and help. I did my best to process and flow with it … to see it as a necessary lesson being taught … but I feel it … I feel the inner drain from using my energy to retain my personal power and not succumb to the events triggering these reminders. The effort continues even as I write, but it all needs time … time to process and move through so that a loving, positive place exists from which to operate. It’s a back-and-forth sensation … like watching the surf roll onto or off the beach as the tides cause their effects. I guess its life’s tide …

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.  Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.” – Lao-Tzu

Building Personal Power … Ah, how good it feels to build …

Over time and through personal experience I’ve come to believe and trust in setting intentions … a tool useful in manifesting the reality we wish to make.  They are similar to objectives, something I deal with daily in the context of my career and profession.  However, intentions are a bit more than simply objectives.  They are subtly different in how they are expressed and packaged, and are more holistic and internalized within me.  And it is here … in the way I integrate these statements within me … fold them  into my personal fabric of things of what I want in my life … in the process I follow … that I have discovered how to build a sense of creating new personal power.

Recently I went through a process, the idea given me by a close friend.  I reviewed those intentions most meaningful to me and framed them in a new manner.  I am now at a significant turning point in my life and the time seemed right for such a review, and the process of refining the list, revising the words to better reflect my desired reality, and combining photos reflecting that desired reality all seemed right.

As I moved through this process something fascinating occurred … I discovered that each newly framed and packaged intention “felt” different, and that part of that feeling was a deep sense that what is desire will become part of my life in the future.  There was this sense of new “personal power” that now rested within me resulting from my reflecting on the statement, seeing and internalizing the images, and “feeling” the feelings of what being there would be like.  It all created this intense sense of possibility … of reality … of a sense of peace knowing that my desires will manifest themselves … a sense of personal power that I had not experienced before beginning the exercise.  I realized I was building personal power … inner trust in my future and life and forces that will combine to allow me to make choices that will bring about desire effect.  It left me feeling excited inside … energized and optimistic that my life continues on a good course guided by my inner compass … my feelings.  It was all a powerfully fascinating experience which I now repeat daily while taking a few moment each day to calmly go through this package of statements, images, and felt feelings to recharge my belief and awareness to guide choices in the unfolding day ahead.

Building power … something I now have in my tool box carried along with me as I continue down my path.  Something I’ve found powerfully rich for rekindling trust and belief, and refreshing filters used for daily choices.  And going through it … taking those few moments each day to build my power … feels ever so good … J

Power …

A close friend … a spiritual partner … recently wrote in her blog about personal power.  She and I have talked many hours about it, and with her help I came to understand the role it plays in navigating my daily steps along my path.  I experienced several “Ah – Ha” moments that revealed to me that my painful reactions to circumstances around me resulted from me giving away my personal power … causing myself to descend into the feelings of powerlessness.  I’ve even written about it in past posts as I began to discover and fit pieces together.  For me, understanding and dealing directly with personal power has given me insights and tools to help move me on my journey … my hike towards a better, happier, and more fulfilled me.

Where initially I had little or no awareness of power and its role and impact, I now see it as a multidimensional condition with tremendous influence.  Once understanding what it meant, it appeared in my world almost daily.  For me, I either am giving it up, working to retain it, or discovering new ways to create it as I move towards my intentions.  Each is driven by the choices I make.

Over the next few posts I’ll discuss my thoughts and experiences in each of these corners of the “power world”.  They all have touched me, created feelings, and caused me to make new choices … a new awareness that I now use to help guide and move me on my journey.

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” – Albert Einstein

It’s been some days since writing … leaving my thoughts here in my blog. Such gaps arise from me allowing life to sweep me up … and me not choosing a path through such days that permits time to process and record. A choice … one that keeps me away from something that touches me in special nurturing ways while strangely allowing inner forces to build until they remind me of the pleasure I derive from processing, recording, and sharing the feelings and thoughts I encounter as I walk my daily journey. Those forces have once again returned … as has my need to express.

Today I take yet another step towards transition, formally beginning the process of retirement. Retirement … this transitional point in my life where one door will close so that another may open … open to new chapters adding richness and meaning to my life. Yes … not an ending but a new beginning for me … a man still fully engaged in the discovery of life and himself.

I sit here and “feel” … feel myself moving through this turbulent time in my life … time of change and excitement … time on unknowing … time of faith in following a course led by intentions, love, and letting go to the universe. I often return to the vision of my retreat during these days now. This vision offers me peace from deep within. Those days spend in retreat were so powerfully cleansing and allowed me to “feel” more centered than I can ever recall. The sense of peace is overwhelming and I use those feelings as a marker … a road sign … a compass to guide the many decisions churning within me now.

At times I want to simply stop … halt for some moments and purge all that is within me … all the feelings and experiences collected over so many years … “shake my emotional blanket” … purge, reorder, select the richest, then take back in that which allows me the most good feelings. Purging in a way that reveals and retains only the best, leaving a greater sense of simplicity in this life I now lead. Simplifying myself to a place offering more of my essence … a purer collection of that which feeds and nourishes me the most. There is a message emerging … not yet clear but surfacing and creating feelings … something being released as a result of this life change about to swell over me. More work … emerging work … meaning and understanding … intentions at least for now. But there is this growing sense of an emerging message.

I ramble because I’m feeling … feelings without clear focus this morning.  Stepping into the dark, somewhat confusing realm of tomorrow while beginning to sense a calling to purge, renew, and walk more lightly as I go forward.  Newly seen pieces in the jigsaw puzzle of my life.

And How Do You Travel …

A quote, shared by a friend, offered me a moment to reflect on how I travel each day.  I thought I’d share it … maybe you too will pause and draw a moment’s reflection … consider how you travel your road in life …

“Most people have no idea where they are headed because they are not paying attention. People show up at the greatest train station in the world, called Life, and then they get on any train without looking to see where it’s going. Once on board, they don’t look out the window to see if the passing landscape seems to be taking them where they want to go. Surrounded by ever deepening snow and ice, they convince themselves they’re en route to the tropics! If they were to ask the conductor how much the trip was costing them, he would smile and say, ‘It costs you everything.’ ” – Author Unknown

“Dig into life with wild roving abandon, opening your mind to the delicious possibilities that perplex the mind, entice the heart, and excite the spirit.” – Maximillian Degenerez

What Will I Be Doing …

Now with my retirement announced, this question is asked often these days … “What will I be doing?”

There was once a time in my life when I would have needed to know.  A time when I felt obligated to plan the future, arrange the games pieces, and predict the moves.  A time when I would not step out unless I had assurances of what might occur, and try my best to control the universe to ensure it happened.

But life, lessons, and awareness now cause a different approach to prevail.  I now embrace each day differently … seeing it as a great, unexplored frontier … the chance to mount a personal expedition into the known yet unknown.  Letting go of knowing what will be in order to see new possibilities … possibilities not even known yet … possibilities offering an even greater opportunity to live mindfully and with purpose in this new set of moments … wiser, kinder, more loving, and more sensitive to all that surrounds me.  No, I do not know what I will do, but I eagerly await finding out when it gets here. It is all such a new and interesting dance …

A New Song Continues …

Life continued its song today … in ways similar to many days I’ve walked. As I began my day I listened to my soothing music … sipped my coffee … and felt “feelings” within me I saw in my mind many images. One special image, of a loved one so very dear to me, created such wonderful warmth inside me. Such a wonderful way to begin a day … a day spent in change. My life … filled with such richness in these current moments … and made even richer by images creating such feelings is so good in these daily moments walking my journey upon this green and blue globe.

Yes … Life continues its song today … and even within “sameness” the rhythm varies, influenced by my growing sense of life change. I move towards the door … the door leading to some unknown yet desired place. Some moments I sense a touch of fear but it quickly is dissolved by the excitement of the new adventure waiting for me. It is becoming an interesting blend of feelings. It is becoming part of this new journey-within-a-journey, and it colors me as I open myself to more change. Each day … something good getting better …

Meaningful Acts of Learning …

As I begin to move through my new life transition, I see differently … I feel differently.  I feel “freer” to express my beliefs more clearly and strongly … beliefs on what’s best for the tribe I leave and the context that will surround them.  Much will be triggered as I move through my transition these next few months.  I can already feel it, some of which was triggered yesterday as processing began and tasks arose which were all focused on how I will leave my tribe for the next chapter of their story, and leave my career for the next expedition of my life.

I search for clues … clues that tell me if what I now says matters … clues that tell me what might “be” once I depart in terms of leadership and care afforded my tribe … clues that might reveal the true substance of those charged with ensuring the well-being of those once in my care … clues that reveal if I am seeing through non-judgmental filters into the world that will remain after I depart. And I must listen … listen to the stories and fears from all sides … so that my picture reflects a broad collage of everything touching everything.  It all matters … it all relates.

Much is unknown … simply guided by intention and faith.  I must see, take in, assess, and understand deeper than before because time ticks away and even though I cannot control outside forces, I can control what views and information I impart and how it is framed.

I am surprised by my calmness and that there are only brief moments where a fear pops up needing to be seen, understood and explored, then gently set aside as I continue my journey into the unknown.  Maybe it’s because I am more open … emotionally receptive to what occurs around me due to my pending life change.  Maybe I continue to change and stand each day somewhere different from which to view my surrounding world.  It is early in my new journey … I have much to learn as I now begin … I will step forward … and I know changes are all around me waiting to present themselves and reveal new feelings, and inner awareness and understanding.

What an adventure …

“You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.” – Desmond Tutu

Bro …

I love you Bro … young brother of mine.  Past posts have surfaced our connection now that we move through our journeys more mature and understanding of family and the gift it offers in one’s life.  And now you return because you remain in battle for life and health.  Over these many months you’ve been a warrior whose battle never ends.  You and your loving wife have pressed forward, taking each day and its challenges with grace, courage, and tenacity.  As you now continue your fight trying to regain health that is slipping away from you, you still amaze me with your courage, resilience, and spirit of lightness.

The journey you’ve walked these past many months would have broken many, and the burdens of fear and concern weigh very heavily upon your shoulders.  You’ve shouldered your burdens … shouldered them by choice knowing how hard the journey becomes when traveling through this darkened landscape.  Even knowing this you step forward again and again … taking another step again and again … showing such deep strength beneath the surface of a body struggling to recover and heal.  The image you cast for us outside your world is one that inspires.  Those you touch willingly love and support, and my name is added to that long list of those souls lined up to cheer and encourage your journey.

But even more … I have learned how one can carry themselves through adversity with loving spirit and equanimity.  A special “step” as you walk that teaches those like me how to better navigate while clarity remains out of reach.  Hope, faith, and intension drive such steps while one’s energy to take them is fed through love.  Such a valuable lesson I learn as I witness your journey these days.  You are indeed a gifted teacher Bro, and my heart connects to you each day with thoughts of support and wishes that your journey allows you to walk deeper and deeper into the sunshine of health and joy.

Bro … thank you for teaching me … thank you for being family … thank you for being “Bro” …

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” – Marcel Proust

A New Day, a New Sense of Opening …

This is indeed a new day … a new morn. Emotions rest nearer the surface, with their presence ever sensed and their escape imminent. They are not sad but “feel” grounded and rooted in deep “connection” … that special, unique feeling one gets when two or more separate souls find a moment to become one. I see how all that is great has granted me such a rich opportunity to experience such rare and wonderful connections … with Tribe … with friends … with special loved ones … with myself. I’ve been somehow chosen to receive such wealth and have been given the gift of “feeling” such feelings and I am grateful. I am ever so grateful. I am such a lucky man, discovering such lessons about myself, and living such a wonderful life. Life is so incredibly rich in this collection of early morning moments on this Thursday in April. Yes … rich … yes … grateful … yes … a VERY lucky man sits here in these moments …